Chronicles of Huntress - Part 3

Okay, I know that most of you are not interested in Lord of the Rings or my adventures in Middle Earth. That's okay. I forgive you.

My puppeteer, Mister Schmeckl, intends to write about other games, too. He's just lazy and hasn't gotten to it yet.

In the meantime, I thought I'd quickly mention some of the fun things to do in Middle Earth and the LOTRO game.

Here is a Top Ten List, and you'll note, some of them are not unique to LOTRO because they apply to other similar games, as well:

10. Hobbit Jumping. Nothing says fun like running at a Hobbit character played by another person and then, because they're short, just jumping right over their heads.

9. Horse's Ass. Ride your horse close to a stranger. Then back up the "rear end" of the horse to the other player's head. When they notice this, they're a little displeased.

8. Music. Adventuring throughout Middle Earth is quite fun, but it's also pretty cool to meander through a well-populated area and listen to other players with a flute or mandolin actually playing some real music quite well. Sometimes, good music is good music, even in Middle Earth.

7. Critical Successes. In LOTRO, we have crafters and professions. My crafting specialty is that I am a Scholar. I'm able to make rare Scrolls, Potions, Dyes and other fancy schmancy crap that you don't care about. When you put the ingredients together and make your item, well, you make your item. But if you are a Master Crafter for the level of the item you're making, you have a percentage chance to "critical" which means you typically make a better version, or you end up with several items instead of just one. It's quite nice when it happens.

6. Hitting it Big at the Auction House. Yes, we have an Auction House where the citizens sell their items. Of course, folks can always sell things for fair market value at a vendor. But if you REALLY want to try and make some bling, bring it to the Auction House. List whatever you want for your starting price and list a high "Buyout" price. It sure feels like you are the king of the world when you make a huge profit because someone paid your exorbitant "buyout" price at the Auction House and now you feel like you're rolling in dough.

5. Spending it at the Auction House. Yeah, you can buy this or that. Some deals are good and some are so-so. Whatever. But if you really want to shit yourself with glee, find that item that for whatever reason, nobody else has picked-up on. There it is . One hour to go in the auction. Ignore that ridiculously high buyout price. Instead notice the ridiculously low initial starting price. SCORE! Place that low bid and score the victory. Keep your spoils or turn it right around and resell for a profit. Oh yeah!

4. Making Friends. Yep. It's a social game. Sometimes, since I'm so cool and powerful, and all bow down to me, I go and adventure on my own. But other times, I'm on a quest with others. I used to quest with lots of Kin. In fact, we had a huge and active Kinship of Package members and friends. Now, it's just me and Zappo who plays at all crazy hours of the night. So, when I need a group to accomplish something, I join the good old fashioned pick-up group ("PUG") and give it a go. Let's face it. Sometimes it sucks. But surprisingly, I've met some cool characters and learned to work well with others. It's actually quite fun to have six of you accomplish a really hard task and continue to comment thoughout how pleased you all are to have met and to be working together on something. LOTRO friends are nice.

3. Random Acts of Kindness. What can I say. For an Elf, I'm a big softy and this is a fun/rewarding part of the game. Help that warrior that you are passing who is struggling against a powerful mob, or worse, multiple mobs. Also, as an Elf Hunter, I have the ability to insta-travel throughout Middle Earth, and I can even take others with me. It's like a taxi service. Many folks are grateful for the assistance, and it's nice to provide it.

2. The Uber Drop. Nothing makes you want to crap your panties like that surprise uber drop. Whoooooo, what a rush!!!

1. Finally, this never gets old, but the ultimate always revolves around the good old Leeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeroooooooooyyyyyyyyyy Jennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnkinnnnnns!!!! You can actually do that to people for real, but I think it's kind of cruel, unless you're just inept like >O< Fear and you do it because you don't know better. But if you just want to have fun and scare the poop out of your group, all ya need to do is wait for your whole group to be almost ready. You're waiting quitely for the right moment to strike. The group is trying to play smart. That's when you tell them, "Awwwwww hell, I hate this waiting around. I'm just gonna go and attack. Leeeeeeeroy Jennnnkins!!!!!!" Then you start moving toward the mob(s). Haha, there's nothing like the howls of terror, the cries of "wait," and the screams of frustration that it generates, all in the span of two seconds, as the sickening sense of sordid sadness over failure rises like bile from the gut of those you're playing with. Of course, then you say, "just joking" and later, you wonder why they don't invite you back to play with them again. :) Good times, yeah, good times!!!!!